Menu Dating

As I watch the gardener tackle my yard today I can’t help but notice the striking parallels between his work and the work involved with building a healthy love life. When he first arrived, he surveyed the property with a holistic view. He looked around for what needed tending to and what didn’t. He then worked through the yard, piece by piece, giving each area diligent attention. Lovingly, he removed weeds, excess growth and dead branches, leaves and blooms. Essentially, he cleared out the mess to make room for new growth, healthier growth. He didn’t do any more or any less than what needed to be done.

Next he cultivated the barren spots. He got down on his hands and knees and with tender loving care, he dug into the earth, creating the perfect home for new plantings. Once he placed them in their respective holes and covered them up, he watered them, just enough, not too much and watered all of the other plant life he’d planted weeks, months and years before.

When the gardener was finished, he stood back, hand on chin and admired his work with a soft, but pride filled smile. Although I can’t read his mind, I venture to say his thoughts are swirling with what he might do next week to grow this garden with even more love.

So you see, building a love life is like creating a magnificent garden. You must start with rich soil and continue to feed it with nutrients - that's your personal foundation - your self love. You must take the time to select plants that are most attractive to you and imbed them into the soil with care - that's choosing men that are good for you and taking the time to bring them into your life with ease (i.e. not fast forwarding into fantasy land!). You must water them and give them light so that they can grow strong roots and blossom to their fullest potential - that's nurturing your relationship allowing it to progress with organic ease. You must take a look from afar to see how your plants are growing and how they must be tended to - that's stepping back and evaluating where you are, where you want to be and how to close the gap. You need to pay attention to what is healthy and what is not - what can be salvaged and what can't be - that is being honest about your relationships and their potential. Sometimes plants die and must be said goodbye to and that’s ok because it leaves room for new plants.

Sometimes your lawn gets crapped on and guess what, you can clean it up and guess what else, your lawn is actually better off for having the residue - that is the gift of having relationship experience. Sometimes your lawn gets hit with a torrential downpour which flushes it out and other times the sun just shines down, down, down, down revealing blossoms that you didn’t even plant… which is the miracle of fertile soil.

The overall point here is that beautiful gardens just like beautiful love lives, don’t grow overnight. They take time to blossom into magnificence. And whereas you may fall into lust or even into very deep like, you grow into love… and it is very much worth the waiting and the watering.

Live, love and plant largely,

Tristan