Wedding season is right around the corner… you can smell it with the flowers in bloom, hear it with the chirping birds returning home, see it with the bridal bitches hitting the gym extra hard (I saw one wearing a veil-like sweatband in my spin class last week – true story) and of course nuzzled between your bills and promises to win a million dollars are weekly invites to what seem like everyone’s wedding, but yours. The constant in-your-face reminders that you are single with a capital S can turn the season that is supposed to be filled with sweetness and gorgeous hope into one with an unshakeable devil in a red wedding dress on your shoulder. One where you fixate on how much it sucks to be single, how you will never find love, how broke you are going buying gifts, how likely it is that you’ll be seated next to some creepy uncle and so on and so on. But we all know that one big secret to finding love, is to project love. So, to flick that bad-ass red devil off your shoulder, you need to invite its optimistic cousin, the white angel in, and follow her prescription as follows, to beat the bridal blues:
1. Stock up on date dresses that double as wedding appropriate dresses, as opposed to shopping for dresses that are meant for weddings. This way, you’ll be less resentful about spending gobs of cash on her day because you will really be making an investment in your dating future.
2. Bringing along a token plus one - your neighbor who has been pining after you for years, your ex, your gay BFF or your local barista, makes you look desperate. Alternatively, get head-to-toe gorgeous and go stag. Weddings can be a great place for a like/love connection!
3. Chances are you won’t be the only single girl at any wedding. Scout out the others, preferably at pre-events and band together as wingwomen, not in misery but in delight, deciding to make the most of this day of festivities.
4. Don’t believe the hype that Auntie Mae bestows upon you in her moment of pity citing, “Ya know dear, they only have a 50/50 chance of making it.” Deflect negative energy by hitting the dance floor with a cute bachelor. Cynicism is an ugly accessory and ruins even the most gorgeous of dresses.
5. Just because the liquor is free flowing, doesn’t mean it comes without cost. Drink too much and you could wind up being that girl who is puking out her brains, and her sad single guts to anyone willing to listen.
6. Just like practice with dating helps you figure out what you need in a relationship, weddings are great research opportunities to help you figure out what you want/don’t want at your ultimate dream event, so use the opportunity to take mental notes. It is OK to dream... anyone who tells you differently has given up!
7. The answer to the dreaded question, “How can someone as fabulous as you be single?” is “I’m holding out for someone as equally fabulous.” This leaves you standing gracefully and proudly single, with a nod to the fact you’ve had options, but turned them down. This eliminates opportunity for condolences or additional questioning, just the way you want it.
8. From the cheesy heart shaped napkins to the PDA obsessed newlyweds and the corny love songs, weddings should be used to reinvigorate your belief in love, so soak it all up! You can even use them to interview happy couples about their relationships to give you more insight about lasting love.
9. Why should only newlyweds get gifts this summer? Couldn’t you use a new toaster or some lacy lingerie? Make your own wishlist and for every wedding you attend, treat yourself to a gift, or enlist friends invited to the same weddings and surprise each other with gifts celebrating your fabulous single selves!
10. When twangs of icky feelings rush over, counteract them with a glass of champagne and a toast to your singledom. Toast to the fact you haven’t run off with the wrong guy. Toast to the things you love about your single life. Toast to your eventual future with a wonderful partner because deep down you know that great love is coming your way and it is worth waiting for.
And finally, don’t forget to enjoy the cake… no dessert is better than wedding cake, so don’t be shy… have two slices… after all, you don’t have to worry about squeezing into a gown anytime soon, now do you, so indulge while you can!
Live and love largely,
Tristan
p.s. The pic above is at my wedding, with all of my single girls... they don't look miserable, do they???
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Waiting in line for a latte can be the ideal time to return a call or beat the next level of Brickbreaker and the idea of flying on a plane iPod-less sounds so 2001, but putting yourself in a technological bubble makes it hard for potential mandidates to break through to you. Buds in your ears or your pretty little face buried in a PDA not only makes it difficult for a guy to penetrate your tech zone, as purposefully or not, you are putting up a “do not disturb” sign. In a world filled with tech-obsessed busy bodies, being the antithesis to this is a refreshing sight to see, and a subtle invitation to guys. So the next time you’ve got some idle time, where sure, you could pound through a dozen emails, text your BFFs or get lost in your favorite new download, consider instead disconnecting from your techie gadgets and open up to connecting with a human hottie. I guarantee pushing a boys buttons will be more fun!
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