Menu Dating

We’ve all had experiences with shortcutting and nearly every time, there is a price to pay for it. Whether it is performance at work, applying makeup (can we say coverage gone awry?!) or cooking, no matter what, when we don’t take the time to do something properly, the outcome is always less than what we want it to be. Take driving for example. If your goal is to get from point A to point B in as fast as time as possible so you plot out a shortcut, you probably waste more time calculating a shortcut than you would have just taking the longer route. In those cases you also often take the journey that is less beautiful, less inspiring. And doesn’t it nearly never fail that when you are in the biggest hurry, the shortcut, fails you – there is a detour, an accident, or some freak traffic? That, is life talking to you… life telling you that trying to beat the system is bad for you – that the roadmap is in its right place for a reason and the joke’s on you if you try to cheat it. Well the same applies to love. When you try to cheat the system of love, you are the one who ultimately gets cheated.

The whole notion of speeding up your love destiny is energy wasted. Books that promise happily-ever-after in 90 days or less, workshops that guarantee you will fall at the feet of your Mr. Right after having taken them or any other too-good-to-be true promise, is just that, too-good-to-be-true. When we opt for shortcuts like these, we deprive ourselves of the gifts received when taking the longer path – the path that offers the life shaping experiences we will need to prepare us for the future. If we shortcut now, we will short-circuit later. Count on that.

Think about what you are really looking for… a quick exit off the freeway hoping that brings you to something good enough? Instead of making your goal the first to be at the finish line, make your goal to get to the finish line, ready… prepared for the large responsibility that real grown-up love is. It is like studying math… if you skipped addition and subtraction, how would you understand multiplication and if you didn’t grasp multiplication, division would boggle your mind, and so on and so on. Take the time needed to absorb all of the stages of love presented to you. Soak up every moment knowing that every pit-stop, no matter how short or how long, how seemingly pleasant or miserable, is a necessary and wildly, wonderful opportunity to grow. Each one of your experiences is, despite it might not feeling that way when the road begins to feel long and winding and like there is no destination ahead, is solidifying your foundation in some way… if you drive with open eyes. Pay attention to your path. Look in your rear-view mirror to avoid driving in circles. Construct a map so you have a vision of where you want to go. And don’t be afraid to take the road less traveled - to throw yourself into moments that are outside of your comfort zone, to test your limits and to force yourself to go the distance… that is how you best extract lessons that you will undoubtedly need for life and love success.

Live and love largely,

Tristan