My long-time girlfriend Mandy invites me for a mud pie and mochas lunch date forewarning me that this is likely going to be 2-slicer event. This is her way of telling me she really needs to talk. The topic: Why isn’t Randy proposing?
Randy and Mandy (no joke) have been together for 7 years (clearly, they are not menu daters). They live together. Have a German Shepherd together. They even have a pancake breakfast named after them at their fave brunch spot that they’ve been going to every Sunday for the last five years. For all intents and purposes, they are the “perfect” couple, but she is sans ring and today, with a mouthful of pie, she is desperate to know the foolproof strategy to get Randy to propose.
I take an unnecessarily long sip of my mocha followed by an elongated bite of pie. I’m stalling. I know that I’m supposed to say one of three things: 1) “Honey, Randy is the “one”, who cares if you have the label”, or 2) “He will propose – he is just figuring things out... be patient” or what she really wants to hear, 3) “I’ll work on him, you’ll have the biggest rock you’ve ever seen by the end of the month!”
But here’s the thing.At least annually, Mandy and I have this identical gathering and I’m getting a little tired of having to have an extra slice of pie (that’s what good friends do – overeat alongside their depressed friends, right?) every year that goes by that Mandy’s left ring finger remains bling-less, because the truth is… I don’t know if Randy is going to propose.
And it makes me sad that she like so many other fabulous women have given up their power in dating… lost their voice… and eventually, their way.
And I think it is high time, women take it back. From the little things to the big things... we feel better, we are better when we do things on terms we are comfortable with.
So, I say, no more wearing suits if you are a rock n’ roll chick because it makes him happy. No more having sex or not having sex because you think it will send the right or wrong message. You look better in clothes you like; you are happier when you have sex under your own conditions. Period.
No more waiting on him to propose. Or to call. Or to end a lousy relationship. You want to marry him? Ask. You want to talk to him? Call. You want out of a dysfunctional relationship? Walk. Extract your personal power and have the courage to speak your mind and stand by your words through action... regardless of the outcome, you will march taller, feel stronger and be moving towards a more positive, more peaceful you.
Oh, and you ask what I ended up saying to Mandy, well, instead of giving her a supposed-to reply, I said, “You want to marry him? Let’s go ring shopping then.”
Live and love largely, Tristan
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Waiting in line for a latte can be the ideal time to return a call or beat the next level of Brickbreaker and the idea of flying on a plane iPod-less sounds so 2001, but putting yourself in a technological bubble makes it hard for potential mandidates to break through to you. Buds in your ears or your pretty little face buried in a PDA not only makes it difficult for a guy to penetrate your tech zone, as purposefully or not, you are putting up a “do not disturb” sign. In a world filled with tech-obsessed busy bodies, being the antithesis to this is a refreshing sight to see, and a subtle invitation to guys. So the next time you’ve got some idle time, where sure, you could pound through a dozen emails, text your BFFs or get lost in your favorite new download, consider instead disconnecting from your techie gadgets and open up to connecting with a human hottie. I guarantee pushing a boys buttons will be more fun!
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